The Rhi-Post – Edition 2

Thank you for returning to The Rhi-Post! We have  a variety of contributors with a variety of topics, which is what The Rhi-Post is all about.

Sit back, enjoy, have a drink or two, and follow the links from our writers.


– Rhian

In this issue:

Heartagrams: “ I did a bad, bad thing….”
by Andrea Costanzo aka @TheJunkenstein

Well, ignoring my recently saddened financial situation, lately i decided top act like an irresponsible 18 year old and bnuy a tiocket for a big, costly concert. In this case, it’s the italian “One date only” (as it seems, a lot of recent shows are, in Italy) stop of The Big Four, namely Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax. So not only its a show, its a Metal Show.

Read More….

Learning How to Let Go
by Lushrain

It took me a long time to learn to let things go and even longer to actually let them go. Even now I still hold on to things.  For me being able to let small things slide and not hold on to hurt feelings has made me a much happier person.

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Sexual Health and Chronic Pain
by Jules from

I remember the first time I heard the line “not tonight, I have a headache”. I was too young to have any idea what it meant. Everyone around me laughed, so I laughed too. It wasn’t until much later, when I understood what it meant, that it made even less sense to me. I wished from that moment on I could go back to not knowing what that lame line meant.

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Rebel Without A Pause– s1e5: This Isn’t Happening?
by BrotherDarkness AKA Butch Rosser

You can imagine I was pleasantly stunned when I found out my last column had earned me a fan who asked the justifiable question “What in the world possibly goes on in (my) brain?” (italics and parenthesis mine)  Somebody who cared asked and as usual I feel compelled to answer honestly.

I’m awake.  It’s almost 9:30 am.

It’s too early for me.

And I am goddamned hungover.

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by Blondeinred

With Blondeinred the naughty Aussie with her finger on…. The pulse of the adult novelty industry.

I’m the Blondeinred – KATG devotee (more about devoteeism in a later addition) and adult store worker here in Brisbane Australia. Each edition I will bring you a toy review and some cheeky ways that you can spice up your “self love” or raise the temperature of your partner play. My ethos behind toys is that every toy you invest your hard earned cash in should have at least three ways of using it, so as to get more bang for your buck, yank for your yen or pounding for your pound. So lets rock this out lets Lube-RHI-cated.

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by Rhian, Editor

Everyone has someone that has impacted them in some way. I used to run in fairly high-profile circles, and people of celebrity or such status never phased me. We are all just people. As long as you aren’t a jackass for the sake of being a jackass or hiding the true you to harm others, we’ll probably get along. At least I will go in with the intent to like you. Cross me though, no matter who you are, we are done.

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The Method
by Dean from Australia

Every now and then, there are certain books, films and/or music, which I have always enjoyed, that I return to whenever I am feeling in an emotional trough. I often hit these troughs…perhaps more so lately because, as I approach my middle 30’s I find myself feeling less sure of myself than ever. I can’t explain what it is…well…perhaps I can. There have been a number of critical incidences in my life that I can relate that have surely shaped me into the person I am now. It is the books, the movies and the music that I have grown up with that serve me well as a therapy. They lift me up or, alternatively, they allow me to wallow for a time in my sadness or otherwise. Even sadness can be therapeutic…to a point.

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Learning How to Let Go

by Lushrain

It took me a long time to learn to let things go and even longer to actually let them go. Even now I still hold on to things.  For me being able to let small things slide and not hold on to hurt feelings has made me a much happier person.

I have found that most of us hold on to these feelings for the following 4 reasons:

The inability to forgive
Letting go isn’t the same as forgiveness. You can let something go without forgiving the person who has hurt you. Holding on to things people can’t change and still hoping that time will turn back and things will be different does no good for you or them. If they have apologized sincerely and you think they won’t do it again, let it go and forgive them. If you think they will do it again let it go and either try to help them not repeat those actions or let it go. You will remember it when you need to.

—–Want to punish those who have done you wrong
The harsh truth is the world has many selfish people who do bad things that go unpunished. Allowing yourself to hold all of this negative energy when it won’t change the situation isn’t going to help you at all. You are giving them the power by allowing their actions to affect your life in a ripple past their misdeeds.

—–Not wanting the same thing to happen again
You think holding on to these emotions will allow you to protect yourself from being hurt again. Where it  that might be true, it is also stopping you from being open again to good feelings and emotions.

—-Easier to hold on to it than to let it go
Holding on to anger/frustration/hurt at someone and not letting it out in any constructive way isn’t helping yourself. These feelings are just making you more angry/frustrated/sad and taking up your valuable time. When we let go of useless anger/frustrations it frees up our mind/spirit for awesome great things to come our way. We are opening ourselves to love and meaningful relationships.

If you notice each of those reasons really feed off of each other. We won’t forgive someone until we feel they have been sufficiently punished. However, holding on to grudges, hurt, anger is unproductive and destructive to your own self. It will cause you stress, sickness, and sadness.

Productive ways to purge these feelings:

—-Talking to the person who has wronged you in a calm matter:
It is easy to approach the person who has wronged you with mean words and elevated voice but in the end it just puts you as the aggressor and them as the victim. You won’t get the response you want with yelling or insulting. Direct and calm approach is usually the most effective way.

—-Venting with caution:
I try to vent to be able to  get these feelings out as quickly as possible and if I can rectify the situation quickly I will.  You also need to realize things need to  calm down to decide an appropriate response. It helps to have someone who is impartial to help decipher what an appropriate response is and if one is even necessary. Venting may help you expunge all of these emotions.  You will also need to be cognisant of yourself when you are using the venting as a way to get yourself more riled and when it truly helps.

—-Choosing your battles
It will take lots of time to figure out the battles to fight. In my personal experience I realize that the battles I want to fight are so inconsequential. When I engage a battle that is just down right silly , I try to apologize to the person who I have gotten angry, and as quickly as possible after I have engaged them. It is helpful to think if  a) coming to them will fix the situation  b)what do you want fixed  c) is there a compromise that can be reached

I am not saying doing this stuff is easy. It is easy to want to crawl back into the negative space.  It is still hard for me to let go of things that bother me or people who do me wrong.

Things I do every day to think positively about my life:

–Daily happy list of things that make me feel good that day. Bad things will happen to me and it may suck and I may cry and feel hopeless. Trying to find the good in a hopeless occasion is usually that one ray that will help me pull through to the happy again.

–Disassociate and not engage with people who cultivate negativity. If I can avoid people who are constantly negative I will. I also will not engage their negative emotions if I have to deal with them. I will try to be as positive and happy as I can around them.

–Focus some of my energy making sure the people around me feel loved and are taken care of. I think most of us do this but I really try hard to let people in my life who may not know (or heard from me in a while) that I am sincerely thinking about them and love them.

I understand that these tasks may be hard for some and it may be easier on me since my head is a bit more logical but I can testify that my life has been filled with so much joy since I have let go of negativity.

The Rhi-Post – Edition 1

Welcome to the first edition of  The Rhi-Post! This will be a collection of editorials from my friends, who I have come to know very well and are from a wide and varied background. I hope that you will enjoy a peek into their lives as I do and I am excited to share their thoughts, editorials and expertise.
If you have questions for our contribitors please send to and follow me @Rhian73.

Please be free to follow on twitter and/or facebook, or other social media if our authors shared their links. Thank you for being a part of The Rhi-Post!


In this Issue:

Tales from My Shame-Ber : Why I like the Twilight Saga
by Lushrain

This will be a  recurring column highlighting the items in my Shame-ber. If you are not familiar with a Shame-ber* it is a room with no windows in which you can enjoy your deepest darkest guiltiest pleasures.   Each time I will let you learn about the things I love that I shouldn’t love but are oh-so-awesome.

Read More….


About bitheadturnedtrader
by bitheadturnedtrader

I’m an Information Technology (I.T.) Director for the Canadian division of an international business process outsourcing company. Essentially I’m responsible for everything technical in Canada – networks, desktops, servers, software, and programming – to support the day-to-day operations and future growth of the business. I’m the interface between business and technology.
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Lament for the Loss of my Big, Fat Camera
by Shaughnessy

Like a favourite traveling buddy, my 38 – 105 mm Samsung zoom camera accompanied me on treks across North America, China, Hong Kong, Spain and Ireland. It, or its earlier versions, were always at hand for generations of family events, occasions and just for nothing moments. It documented my nature walks, adventures and trips to find beauty in unexpected places.

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by  Andrea Costanzo aka @TheJunkenstiein

In troubled times, when black waves of depression are hidden behing every corner, daily, one needs to keep his emotions alive. And my personal and addictive emotion inducing drug is music. Its the direct language of the heart and soul, translating the bursts of adrenaline, tears, passion and laughter that made the grey routine less desperate into a sound that can move with you and wrap you in its comforting blanket of vibes.

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Handmade Revolution
by Kataish

Hi. My name is Kata, I’m 28 and I’m a craft addict. Ever since I was a small child, I’ve been obsessed with making things and “crafting”. It all started with drawing and taking art classes, and through the years turned into sculpting, pottery, beading, doll-making, crocheting, and then knitting. Currently my main hobby/obsession is knitting.

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Photography by Uncast

Rebel Without A Pause
by BrotherDarkness AKA Butch Rosser

s1c3: You Can Lead A Club To Culture, AND You Can Make Them Think (A Costanza’s Goodbye)
Dear Planet Earth,
If you’re reading this, I hope somebody has had the decency to cut me down from the ceiling fan this note was placed under.  It should be noted per previous discourse that everyone get their crying out at the wake and that Christine has her choice of who to sleep with at the afterparty.

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Tales from My Shame-Ber: Why I like the Twilight Saga

by Lushrain

This will be a  recurring column highlighting the items in my Shame-ber. If you are not familiar with a Shame-ber* it is a room with no windows in which you can enjoy your deepest darkest guiltiest pleasures.   Each time I will let you learn about the things I love that I shouldn’t love but are oh-so-awesome.

So for my first Item I bring to you the Twilight Saga:

I first heard about Twilight from my sister-in-law. She being a teen at that time had read the books and had just gotten the latest and final book in the series, Breaking Dawn. I looked at its shiny black cover with a red ribbon across the front of it and I was intrigued. I am a girl that is attracted to shiny things. I made a mental note to read the books at some point.

Cut to a year or two later and now the Twilight phenomena is in full force. The first movie is out and on DVD already and the second is slated to come out shortly. I finally decided to read what all of this was about. I caved and bought Twilight the first in the series. I was prepared for it to be bad. I wanted it to be bad.

Then I realized that as my soul died a bit when I picked up that first book and I when through the stages of grief:

Denial: I was only going to appreciate Twilight series ironically and never seriously. I hated the first book. It was a teen romance sprinkled with vampires for conflict. It had everything a teen girl would love: a boy that loves you so much he doesn’t sleep, eat, or do anything without you. Oh and he sparkles.
I watched the first movie and it was worse than the book. The main actors play sad and conflicted as constipated/almost crying.

Anger:   I hated that I wanted to watch all of the movies and really wanted to read the books.  Why was these stupid vampires bringing me in and making me want to secretly host a Twilight party?

Bargaining: I was just reading the books and watching the movies to see how it played out. I would never be one of those people who really liked it. I would never be apart of a team.
I will only watch the movies if they happened to be on my TV. I would only read the books once and nothing more. I wouldn’t look up anything Twilight related on the interwebs.

Depression: Why do I want to see Eclipse the weekend it opens. Dear god what is wrong with me? Why am I dragging my husband (who has to be fair read all of the books) to see this movie. I am just going to sit here and wallow in the Twilight airing on Showtime.

Acceptance: Fuck it. I like it and i am going to squee like a girl when it is on. I think I can free up room in my Shame-ber to add the series. I never wanted to be an ironic hipster anyways.

So there I am. I haven’t finished Breaking Dawn (but plan to shortly) I am counting down the days till it comes out in the theaters. I own two soundtracks and desperately want the one for Eclipse. I want the movies on DVD so I don’t have to wait for them to be on Showtime. I have a Twilight problem and I don’t need anyone to cure me. I like my vampires and I am okay if sometimes they sparkle.

*The word Shame-ber was coined by Luke Burbank of the Too Beautiful to Live Podcast